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funeralhome420:

i hate that i literally cant tell if im ugly or not and i cant tell if im really fat or just like kinda fat i literally cant tell and sometimes ill be like “im just being dumb im pretty good looking” and then ill be like “wow im being so egotistical i definitely look like shit what am i talking about” like i just…. dont know and it bothers me so much cos it’s something i can’t understand 

(via lune-winds)

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If celery is 90% water, is the ocean 10% celery?

necrosummer:

as a scientist I can confirm that this is definitely how percentages and fractions work, and yes, the ocean is 10% celery, which is why we cannot drink ocean water, for we would choke on the celery

(Source: vvhaleshark, via onedirectionaustralia)

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maliciousmelons:

my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun

(via donniedarkheaux)

haemus:

The girl you just called hot? That me

(via australiansanta)

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yzma:

'babe, what's the safety word'

'jacobs by marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs in collaboration with marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs'

(via ofuckme)

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